three zebras

that was forever ago

threezebras — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:07:09 +0000

that was forever ago that we woke up for hours and didn’t miss the world. will memory always be polaroids of afternoons warmer than they come these days?
that was forever ago and i miss you still.

threezebras — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:25:04 +0000

how am i feeling? like a zombie.

and mine.

threezebras — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:20:37 +0000

I thought I remembered you saying you had extra time off last week because you were covering the weekend for someone. :\

Email does blow. I came to full terms with the strangeness of declaring undying love via email yesterday and was hoping I could catch you in person before you got this. Which, yes, explains why I was being a goon on the phone.

I would like to talk more in person, but we don’t need to beat this to the ground. You asked me forever ago to respect your side of things and this is not an attempt to breach that.

Let me know when you’re free.

his reply:

threezebras — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:19:11 +0000

wow…didn’t expect to see this e-mail.

So……….now I know why you were acting strange when I talked to you yesterday. You’ve got to remember my days off so you don’t have to wait two days for a response!

I’ve really enjoyed seeing our friendship grow too. can’t think of anything that we’ve done that I haven’t thoroughly enjoyed doing.

thanks for being upfront with your feelings. i haven’t thought about us being in a relationship for a long time….ever since I almost ruined everything on new years. i hope i haven’t been sending out mixed signals. I’ve tried to keep my distance to respect your relationship.

maybe we can talk more in person. e-mail stinks!

i send my true confessions via email.

threezebras — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 22:11:49 +0000

so. here it goes:

i love you.

this is just one of those things i’m hoping will dissolve into the universe now that it’s out there.

i totally dig the nature of our friendship — that we are active together, talk about things going on in our lives and laugh together, the easiness of spending evenings together with our friends. i hope my frankness has some place in that confidence and companionship.

this is nothing new to me and probably isn’t news to you, so don’t freak out and ditch out on me.

the end.

[please reply, at least with a grunt, asap when you get this so i know you've read it.]

when you want me again,

threezebras — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 21:39:52 +0000

and you will,

it will be too late.

that’s a damned lie,

and we both know it.

i will wait.

threezebras — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 02:29:02 +0000

the prologue to the published versions of these writings will read:

i do not love you. and to prove it is so, i present you with these, fifty poems about you, not one of which contains the word “love.”

threezebras — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 02:08:01 +0000

this is so tired.

heartbreak is so nineteen ninety-nine.

i guess.

i mean –

isn’t that kind of what we live for?

the masochistic endgame

we play ourselves into after all?

facing facts, i never could settle into

happily ever after

happily married

happily anything, really.

torture yields prose

prose, the only goddess i’ve found.

so i guess i really owe you one, buddy

for eagerly accepting the part

of my hearbreak, my daily executioner, my muse.

threezebras — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:52:40 +0000

her mirror called to her
and she came.
she came and she saw, not looking
for a pimple or a puckering of fat.
she saw that indeed, she is sort of pretty
remarkable in only a few ways
but wept.
she wept because she was hideous.
with contempt for her every phsyical fiber.
for her body’s unobedient contour
the mind that made it so.
contempt for the contempt she waged
upon her lonely universe.
weak, she wept.
weak has never been my name!
oh, yes it has, the mirror replied.
the mirror does not lie.

threezebras — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:41:13 +0000

there are a couple of things i should tell you before we do this.

first off, i will pick at your face. i will.

second, not a day will go by in which i will not love him, think about him, and think about what if.

third, i already resent you for the clothes you have not yet left on my bedroom floor, the havoc you are yet to wreak on my ambitions and the myriad of possibilities i will miss because i am with you. it’s not like i haven’t done this before and there’s a reason those relationships didn’t work.

fourth and finally, i will loathe you for asking for sex with liquor on your breath. please don’t. i know you will.